It’s All Been DonePosted: April 27, 2010
Sometimes my days have a sense of terrifying sameness. I don’t mean that my days are terrifying… just that some days I genuinely don’t know if it’s Tuesday or Thursday, and on Saturday mornings I sometimes have to be reminded that I don’t need to leap out of bed and make breakfasts and lunches, find socks and shoes, or change diapers (ok, that still needs to be done on Saturdays.) It’s definitely the strangest part about staying at home with Adele, and the part that I miss the most about my old job. I know that referring to The Workplace is somewhat verboten on the internet, but I worked at a pretty unique place. It had its red tape, of course, as all jobs do, but the interactions I had with my coworkers and our constituents pretty much made every day different. I MISS interactions. I miss talking with adults regularly. I miss working for an organization that made a difference and where I got to do really unusual and unique things. (I know, I know, why mention the unusual and exciting if I can’t talk about it? I guess I don’t want to break the cardinal rule of blogging, should I ever want go back to work at that same org.)
But I’ve also had both sides of the coin now. I went back to work full time when G was three months old and it SUCKED. I was a total wreck. I have no idea how Casey lived with me during that time; I could barely live with myself. I cried all the time. I made it through the workdays just fine, but I totally fell apart every night when I got home. My difficulty with that situation was what really helped us decide that I should stay home when A was born, though it was a stretch at first and hasn’t been the easiest thing financially.
We’re visiting a preschool next week to see where Adele will be going in September. And you know what? I’m ready for it this time. I won’t have the difficulties I had going back to work before, because I’ve been there already, and I know what to expect.
Plus, I have this to come home to, no matter what happens.