The One About the Kitchen

I’ve mentioned my One Butt Kitchen before. It’s small, with emphasis on the small part. However, when we bought our house six years ago, we bought it from a flipper who had done only the absolute basic updates, and it was built in the 1940’s. We first saw the house before it even went on the market while just driving around neighborhoods, and we knew we wanted it from the second we hopped out of the car and ran around looking in all the windows (we are classy, you see). What we saw was a basic, cute two bedroom, one bath bungalow with limitless potential sitting on a bed of dirt (seriously, no grass… this IS Texas, after all, and no one had lived in the house for years). I remember Alexa asking once about what was important in a neighborhood, and to be honest, when we bought our house our ‘hood was sketchy. Oh so very sketchy. “Crack house on the corner” sketchy. (Another post for another day. It involves friendly crack dealers!)But it was affordable, we loved it immediately and our realtor made an offer for us the moment it hit the listings. And despite four other offers going in for it that day, we got it. Fate. Kismet. Whatever it was, we got it and it was ours. I so wish I had had the forethought to take “before” pictures because boy howdy have we done a lot to this house. However, that’s for later. The kitchen, it is my topic for today.

When we bought the house, the flippers hadn’t purchased the appliances yet, so we wrote those into our loan and the purchase price was less overall for the house. Now, may I just say (with the kindest of intentions because Casey gets cranky when I gripe about the kitchen/bathroom/lack of closet space), our kitchen is jankety. (Is that a word? If not, I’m using it anyway because it perfectly expresses what I mean.) The cabinets are the most basic basic that ever were, the floor tile was, until Casey replaced it, frightening, the sink is a double behemoth that might look more at home in a shed. But when you’re buying new appliances, you can’t really say, “Well, these are too nice. Do you have anything in, say, avocado green? No? A vibrant orange, perhaps?” They just don’t make those anymore. I know! I was surprised too. So we have nice, big, stainless appliances that are lovely but WAY too big for our tiny kitchen. I’m so used to it now that I mostly don’t even notice anymore when I can’t open the oven and the fridge at the same time because the doors smack into each other. But every now and again I look at it and think “This has got to be the weirdest use of space ever.”

Ah, homeownership. It’s joyous, yes?

Coming soon: Why We Won’t be Redoing the Kitchen Because It Would Involve Knocking Out a Retaining Wall

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