Things that Might Indicate I’m Crunchier than I Actually Am

The crunchy items:

  • When I was growing up, my family never owned a microwave. Weird, right? I’ve spent my life heating up leftovers in the toaster oven and in a pan on the stove. And (shhh! don’t tell anyone!) it works just fine. Now, in my own small family, in our own small space, we also don’t have a microwave. Mainly because we have no counter space on which to put it, and it can’t go on top of the fridge because that’s where the cat food and cereal boxes reside and there is literally no other space in the kitchen AT ALL, but also because we really haven’t felt a need for it. Cold coffee? Toss it in a pan/pot and heat it up! Melt cheese on a tortilla (which is totally a meal, by the way)? Toaster oven! Works fine.
  • I also grew up without a television, for the most part. There’s some family myth wherein my mother put our (working) TV into the garage sale we were hosting because she was just sick of it; I think I was about 3 at the time. We did get one when I was in high school, but we only used it to watch movies. There wasn’t any cable hooked up to it, nor did we have the popular and useful set of rabbit ears, so there weren’t actually any channels. I had to get my 90210 fix at my best friend’s house, because even I knew what kind of outcast I would be if Dylan’s wife accidentally got shot by her dad and then he spent the next day with his head buried in her wedding dress and I didn’t get to watch it. (WHAT? It was obviously a very touching episode since I can even remember the song that played while he cried into the wedding dress – Nobody Knows Me Like My Baby, by Lyle Lovett – which is still one of my favorite songs. Ahem.)
  • We have a compost bin. It lives in the backyard, behind the garage. We have a little container in the kitchen that we fill with the compostable foodstuffs, like eggshells and carrot peelings, and about every other day we empty it into the bin. No big deal. Also, I don’t have to look at it every day. Or smell it.
  • We are primarily a one car family; C rides his bike to work, weather permitting, and sometimes I drop him off after dropping G at school. Sometimes he takes the bus, or we pick him up. Easy to do.
  • We cloth diaper A. G was in daycare and so it wasn’t an option at all, but we tried it this time around. Not that gross, saves us money, no need to run to Target in the middle of the night when I realize I’ve exhausted all possible diaper supplies including the “secret spare” that I keep in the glove compartment of the car.
  • We belong to the local food co-op.

Now, for the reasons I am not as all-natural as the above items might make it seem:

  • I am the chief user of paper towels for the central Texas region. I use them for anything and everything.
  • I’m sorry, but the all-natural toilet bowl cleaner does not clean the toilet bowl. Not even close.
  • Clorox Wipes are my kitchen pal.
  • My daughters are sugar fiends like their mama.
  • I love the sweet, sugary death that is Coca Cola Classic. Red, white and you, people.
  • I don’t have any kind of green thumb at all, sadly. I can keep basil alive and that’s about it.
  • I turn up the heat instead of putting on a sweater.

I think that everyone probably has a mix of crunchy/non traits… care to share?


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